Physics版本的國外作者無法考證，EE版本的作者是iPluto，CS版本的作者是ryanlei，分別用不同的套色來區分，共27條：
YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR…
你可能主修物理
YOU MIGHT BE AN EE MAJOR…
你可能主修電機
YOU MIGHT BE A CS MAJOR…
你可能主修資工
[1]
if you have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically.
如果你沒有生活可言，而且你可以用數學證明這件事
if you have no life - and you can VERIFY it with Matlab simulation.
如果你沒有生活可言，而且你可以用Matlab模擬來確認
if you have no life - and you can DEMONSTRATE it with a finite state machine.
如果你沒有生活可言，而且你可以用finite state machine來演示這個情況
[2]
if you enjoy pain.
如果你享受痛苦
if you enjoy stress.
如果你享受壓力
if you enjoy deadlines.
如果你享受死線
[3]
if you know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division.
如果你會向量微積分卻忘了怎麼作長除法
if you can write C programs but you can’t remember how to write English essays.
如果你會寫C程式卻忘了怎麼寫英文作文
if you can compute shortest paths but you can't remember how to find the path home.
如果你會計算最短路徑，卻忘了怎麼找回家的路徑
[4]
if you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.”
每當聽到有人提到向心力你都會偷笑
if you chuckle whenever anyone says they eat at “MOS.”
每當有人提到他們在MOS吃飯你都會偷笑 (摩斯漢堡)
if you chuckle whenever anyone says they need a “driver.”
每當有人提到他(她)需要一個司機你都會偷笑 (驅動程式)
[5]
if you’ve actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
如果你的繪圖式計算機的每個功能你都用過
if you’ve actually used every single tool on your workstation.
如果工作站上的每個工具你都用過
if you've actually read every single manual on your operating system.
如果你作業系統裡的每篇說明手冊你都讀過
[6]
if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.
如果你照鏡子，會看到一個主修物理的人
if when you look in a mirror, you see an EE major.
如果你照鏡子，會看到一個主修電機的人
if when you look in a mirror, you see a CS major.
如果你照鏡子，會看到一個主修資工的人
[7]
if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
如果外面是華氏70度的大晴天，而你在電腦前工作 (約攝氏21度)
if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working at the workstation.
如果外面是華氏70度的大晴天，而你在工作站工作
if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are playing with your computer at the dormitory.
如果外面是華氏70度的大晴天，而你在宿舍裡玩電腦
[8]
if you frequently whistle the theme song to “MacGyver.”
如果你常常用口哨吹馬蓋先的主題曲
if you frequently transform the theme song of “MacGyver” to frequency domain.
如果你常常把馬蓋先的主題曲轉換到frequency domain
if you frequently compute the time complexity of singing the theme song to “MacGyver.”
如果你常常計算唱馬蓋先主題曲的時間複雜度
[9]
if you always do homework on Friday nights.
如果你都在禮拜五晚上寫作業
if you always do designing on Friday nights.
如果你都在禮拜五晚上設計東西
if you always do projects on New Year's Eves.
如果你都在跨年的晚上趕project
[10]
if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
如果你知道如何把一隻雞積分並且計算水的微分
if you know how to layout a chicken and find the step response of water.
如果你知道如何lay一隻雞並求得水的step response
if you know how to encode a chicken and decode water.
如果你知道如何將一隻雞編碼和將水解碼
[11]
if you think in “math.”
如果你用數學來思考
if you think in “circuits.”
如果你用電路來思考
if you think in “bits.”
如果你用位元來思考
[12]
if you’ve calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
如果你曾經計算出世界大賽其實會發散 (Series是級數)
if you’ve actually tried to design a potato chip.
如果你曾經試著去設計一塊洋芋片 (chip是晶片)
if you believe that the main function of the Central Bank is to return 0;
如果你相信中央銀行的主要功能是回傳0 (main function是主函式，通常回傳0)
[13]
if you hesitate to look at something because you don’t want to break down its wave function.
如果你猶豫過要不要看某件東西，因為你怕會破壞它的波函數
if you hesitate to touch something because you don’t want to short it to ground.
如果你猶豫過要不要碰某件東西，因為你不想把它接地
if you hesitate to take something because you don't want to cause errors when there are data hazards.
如果你猶豫過要不要拿某件東西，因為你不想在有data hazard的時候產生資料錯誤
[14]
if you have a pet named after a scientist.
如果你用科學家的名字幫你的寵物命名
if you have a pet named after a CAD tool.
如果你用CAD tool的名字幫你的寵物命名
if you have a pet named after a Linux application.
如果你用Linux程式的名字幫你的寵物命名
[15]
if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
如果你聽到數學家的笑話會笑
if you laugh at jokes about engineers.
如果你聽到工程師的笑話會笑
if you laugh at jokes about programmers.
如果你聽到程式設計師的笑話會笑
[16]
if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger’s cat experiment.
如果你因為實際去作”薛丁格的貓”的實驗而被人道組織逮捕
if school administration has you arrested because you used computational sharing in the exams.
如果你因為在考試時使用computational sharing而被學校行政單位逮捕(就是互抄答案啦XD)
if the security guard has you arrested because you actually performed tree traversal algorithms.
如果你因為實際去跑了tree traversal演算法而被保全人員逮捕
[17]
if you can translate English into Binary.
如果你可以把英文翻譯成二進位
if you can design a circuit that translates English to Binary.
如果你可以設計一個能把英文翻譯成二進位的電路
if you can translate English into Huffman codes.
如果你可以把英文翻譯成Huffman code
[18]
if you can’t remember what’s behind the door in the science building which says “Exit.”
如果你忘記科學大樓上寫著”出口”的門後面是什麼
if you can’t remember what’s the correct result of LVS.
如果你忘記LVS正確的圖應該長怎樣了
if you can't remember what's the desired result of UVa Online Judge.
如果你忘記UVa Online Judge的理想結果是什麼
[19]
if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there’s a wind-chill factor in the lab.
如果你在炎炎夏日中必須帶一件外套，因為實驗室有所謂的wind-chill factor
if you have to bring a coat with you, in the middle of summer, because the air conditioning at workstation is freaking cold.
如果你在炎炎夏日中必須帶一件大衣，因為工作站的冷氣實在冷到不行
if you have to take off your coat, in the middle of winter, because there's a Wi-Fi “hotspot” in the lab.
如果你在酷寒的冬天必須脫掉一件大衣，因為實驗室裡有Wi-Fi無線網路”熱點”
[20]
If you are completely addicted to caffeine.
如果你對咖啡因完全上癮了
if you are completely addicted to 7-11 lunchboxs.
如果你對7-11的便當完全上癮了
if you are completely addicted to instant noodles.
如果你對泡麵完全上癮了
[21]
if you avoid doing anything because you don’t want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
如果你為了不造成宇宙最終的熱寂而避免作任何事情
if you avoid doing anything because you don’t want to cause useless
power consumption in the system.
如果你為了不製造系統中無用的功率消耗而避免作任何事情
if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to raise the degree of multiprogramming in the system.
如果你為了不想提高系統中的degree of multiprogramming而避免作任何事情
[22]
if you consider ANY non-science course “easy.”
如果你覺得任何非科學的課很簡單
if you consider courses without ANY project “easy.”
如果你覺得任何沒有project的課很簡單
if you consider ANY physics course and MANY EE courses “difficult.”
如果你覺得任何物理課和許多的電機課很困難
[23]
if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
如果你的教授問你你的作業在哪裡，你說你不小心精確決定了它的動量，根據測不準原理，它可能在宇宙的任一角落
if when your professor asks you where your project is, you claim to have accidentally chosen the wrong sampling frequency, thus perfect reconstruction is no longer available.
如果你的教授問你你的project在哪裡，你說你不小心選錯了取樣頻率，所以perfect reconstruction是不可能的
if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally submitted it with the UDP protocol, which does not guarantee reliable data transfer.
如果你的教授問你你的作業在哪裡，你說你不小心用了UDP通訊協定上傳，因此無法保證可靠資料傳輸
[24]
if the “fun” center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
如果你頭腦裡”玩樂”的部份因為久未使用而退化
if the “sleep” center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
如果你頭腦裡”睡眠”的部份因為久未使用而退化
if the “love” center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
如果你頭腦裡”愛情”的部份因為久未使用而退化
[25]
if you’ll assume that a “horse” is a “sphere” in order to make the math easier.
如果你會為了簡化數學計算而把一匹馬假設成一個球體
if you’ll assume that a “horse” is a “blackbox” in order to simplify the designing process.
如果你會為了簡化設計流程而把一匹馬假設成一個黑盒子
if you'll assume that “horses” are a “class” in order to apply the concept of object-oriented programming.
如果你會為了實踐物件導向的概念而把馬假設成一個class
[26]
if you understood more than five of these indicators.
如果你看得懂以上的指標超過五條
if you understood more than 0101 of these indicators.
如果你看得懂以上的指標超過0101條
if you understood more than ('\r' % '\b') of these indicators.
如果你看得懂以上的指標超過('\r' % '\b')條
[27]
if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
如果你把這份清單印出來，並貼在你的門上
if you copy this list and post it on your BBS board.
如果你把這份清單複製起來，並貼在你的BBS個版上
if you modify someone else's list and post it on their BBS board.
如果你修改別人的這份清單，並貼回他們的BBS個版上 (我是修改iPluto的EE版本XD)
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